How to Win Friends & Influence People | Book Summary

Book Name- How to Win Friends and Influence People

Author- Dale Carnegie

Social communication skills are one of the most important skills required. As we live in a world full of fellow humans, co-operation is the only key to live together, survive, and progress.

At almost every stage of life, we need others to be with us whether it’s emotional, physical, financial, or social. But to win people and influence them is an art more than a science.

You can’t be good at people if you don’t know how to understand them. Understanding them means knowing what people are fundamentally looking for.

If you desire to-

  • Win people’s hearts
  • Be a good leader
  • Create new relations
  • Improve your relations

Then this great book “How to win friends & influence people by Dale Carnegie” is for you. Sir Dale Carnegie has provided the classic principles of social intelligence.

Most important lessons from this great book are as follows-

1- Never argue or criticize

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • Whenever you criticize someone or try to argue with them, it actually hurts them the most.
  • Even if they are wrong, they are not going to admit. Even somehow they admit, it will cause resentment in their heart as you killed their pride.
  • By arguing, you are just worsening the situation.
  • Avoid arguments and never let the other person feel inferior.

2- Appreciate with heart

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • Appreciation is the foundation of all relationships. It must utter from your heart.
  • Appreciation is an amazing way to tell others how good and amazing they are.
  • Your sincere appreciation to others also reflects a lot about your own positive character.
  • Under the motivation of praise and appreciation, the person feels inspired to be better and do better.

3- Be genuinely interested in what the other person wants

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • Everybody wants to feel important. Let the other person talk about THEIR interests, hobbies, or even problems.
  • Make others feel that you genuinely and curiously want to know about them.
  • Don’t try to show off your own interests in front of them until they ask.
  • They will feel more comfortable and eventually they will like you.

4- Be a good listener

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • To be a good conversationalist, you should be an attentive listener.
  • Ask questions about their interests and passions.
  • Encourage them to talk about their accomplishments and appreciate them genuinely.

5- Smile

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • A heartwarming smile is the most powerful thing to win people’s hearts.
  • A genuine smile simply delivers a message saying, “I like you. You make me happy.”
  • Your smile can simply provide comfort even to a stranger.

6- Remembering their names

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • For every person, their own name is the most important and sweetest sound in any language.
  • Whenever you meet a new person, ask them about their name. If it’s hard to spell, ask again.
  • When you call them by their name wherever you meet, it proves to be a very effective compliment.
  • Now next time, try calling people with their name. It actually makes them feel special and important.

7- Be sympathetic with other person’s point of view

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • You must ask yourself, “how would I feel if I were in their situation”.
  • You must show them that their ideas and emotions are as important as your own.
  • People want somebody to have sympathy for them. If you can provide them the sympathy they want, a strong bond can be made.

8- Don’t give orders

how to win friends and influence people book summary
  • Nobody likes to feel like a slave. Everybody wants to express themselves as an independent identity.
  • If you want anybody to do something, the best thing is to avoid giving orders. (not in security services of course)
  • Rather than giving orders, ask for suggestions.
  • People are much likely to participate with determination as they feel involved and important.

Conclusion

After learning some of the fundamental principles of social intelligence, we can conclude the basic principle is to make others feel important.

But the writer Sir Dale Carnegie has also told that the application of the principles written in his book must be applied with heart.

We must genuinely do good to others so that they can feel special. It is the best way to create beautiful connections with people around us.

I hope the knowledge provided in this great will prove to be of tremendous value in your life.